


Sleepover

by iskanderthebi



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Background snotacon, Coming Out, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Pining, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iskanderthebi/pseuds/iskanderthebi
Summary: Meryl and Mei have a habit of holding sleepovers. Meryl doesn’t even know she’s pining
Relationships: Mei Ling/Meryl Silverburgh
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Sleepover

It took longer than she would have liked for their meet ups to become genuinely friendly. Not that there was any hostility at first. There wasn’t, not really. She just didn’t know what to say. And talking about guns got dull quickly.

But Mei brought something out about her, something that neither Snake nor others she could call friend had ever done before. Around Mei she wanted — what?

She wanted to be interesting. To be cool and fun. To talk about things that made them forget about the world. To make Mei laugh.

Yeah, that was a big one.

Meryl enjoyed making her laugh. When she told Snake, he just raised an eyebrow, took another puff of his cigarette. She respected a man of few words.

But Mei wasn’t like that. Mei _was_ fun. She could take any banal topic and bring it to life on her tongue. She remembered old codec calls, trivia she saw in books, the latest movie showing in theatres. She was words, overflowing, woven together with bright smiles and laughter and endless little touches.

Mei touched her constantly. A brush of hands, tapping her shoulder, leaning arm to arm on the sofa. It was casual and sweet and entirely endearing. Meryl couldn’t say why, but she liked those little moments. It was something she never had before, neither on the receiving nor giving end. It was...nice.

But with the seasons, the conversations became lighter. They watched movies together sometimes, although Mei’s taste was atrocious and they would always end up with some old horror film or a confusing action flick.

Meryl didn’t mind. Mei liked to curl up close to her when they watched films. Sometimes she would even tuck Meryl’s arm around her shoulders. Yeah, that was nice.

She was in Mei’s apartment. They were having one of their sleepovers, which they referred to as such in quotation marks since both found the concept far different from the expected thing. The giggles, makeup, love discussions and whatever else seemed to feature in the stereotype were missing. Some days they would spend several hours doing their own thing, just sharing the same room.

Neither had any complaints about that.

It was late. They were going over some blueprints earlier and had made a makeshift dinner of microwaveable pies and blueberries with cream. It was a nice night, late summer, and the crickets were humming their song outside.

Mei dragged her tongue over the back of her spoon.

‘Want to watch something?’ she asked.

They were on Mei’s couch, or rather, Meryl was on the couch and Mei herself sat on the floor, leaning against her legs. It was a comfortable arrangement.

Meryl peered into her bowl of blueberries, saw it was still half full.

‘I’m down,’ she said, and smiled. ‘What monstrosity will you make me sit through today?’

Mei gave a triumphant cry and stood, letting air brush the warm skin of Meryl’s leg where she was resting. Meryl suddenly wished she never asked.

The movie was some melodrama from the 60s. Different from Mei’s usual choice but it had been filmed in such a boring fashion that it still became a drag.

Their bowls were empty. Meryl’s mouth felt unnaturally sweet. Letting the sound of the television voices slip passed her, she began twirling on a small lock of Mei’s hair, that had fanned out over the covering of the couch when she sat back down against its side. Her hair was dark and silky smooth.

Mei hadn’t turned around and Meryl wondered if she had noticed at all. A strange heat seemed to clench inside her stomach. She wondered if her tongue was just as sweet.

She pulled her hand away.

Mei leaned her head back, looking up at Meryl like a little upside down doll.

‘Why did you stop?’ she said.

The movie kept playing. Meryl’s stomach seemed to tighten in on itself.

‘Uh.’ She licked her lips. ‘I didn’t know if you liked it.’

‘Oh, please, I do. I love to have my hair touched.’ Mei scrambled to pull out a tie holding it in a ponytail and ran her fingers through it, letting it lie entirely on the couch. ‘Please, go on.’

She turned back to look at the TV.

Meryl hesitated, feeling her face heat up. She let her hand idle, merely brush over the strands, feeling their soft touch over her rough finger tips. How different they were, she wondered. How bizarre that they could even meet.

She dug her fingers deeply, let the hair run like sand between them. She did it a second time, and a third, and then brought her fingers close against her skull.

Mei gave a contented sigh.

After the film, Meryl asked to sleep on the couch. Mei’s apartment had only the one bed, and most of the time they shared it, but occasionally Meryl knew she needed to sleep alone and Mei would not debate it. She didn’t that night either, though her face looked a tad disappointed.  
  
❧  
  
Meryl was squeezing the last of the water out of her hair when Snake finally picked up the phone.

She heard his telltale grunt first.

‘Morning, Meryl.’

‘Gee, Snake, I thought you were going to leave me waiting for an hour,’ she teased, looking into her little hallway mirror. ‘Alaska keeping you beat?’

He made a noise. ‘It’s cold here.’

‘You picked it.’

‘Hmm. Whatever.’

Her face was red from the hot shower and she could not help think it’s funny that she nearly matched her hair.

‘Do I ask about the weather first or can I go straight to Otacon?’

She liked their calls. With Snake’s situation, meeting was no longer an easy option but after everything they had gone through, they had something real between them. A comradeship, a bond. He was quite nice outside of missions, she had found out. And once the childish flirting had stopped, both found a new sense of respect for the other.

Meryl didn’t like to admit he was the person she trusted most, but it had become the truth.

She let Snake’s deep voice sooth her, as it always did whenever they called, and began idly tidying up her counter as he talked. She was relatively clean as a person, or so she thought anyway. Although she had come in late from Mei’s, she had put almost everything away.

Her jacket lay haphazardly over the dining room table and she picked it up. It was the jacket she wore at Mei’s.

She looked at it for a moment and noticed a sweet smell in the air. It was Mei’s smell, the gentle perfume she always used.

Without realising, Meryl lifted the jacket and pressed it lightly against her nose.

‘Meryl?’

She missed her.

Meryl gave a shaky sigh.

‘You alright?’

‘I’m fine, Snake.’ She paused, bit her bottom lip. ‘How are you and Otacon?’ she asked quietly, not understanding why she felt at all so vulnerable.

Snake was silent for a moment and then, gently, said, ‘We’re good. We’re really good.’

She smiled. ‘I’m glad.’ And she was.

There was another pause.

‘And how are you, Meryl?’  
  
❧  
  
Mei picked a horror film next time. Black and white, from the 50s. There was a lot of screaming.

Meryl missed the film entirely, forgetting to register what was happening on the screen when Mei decided to crawl into her side on the couch, tucking her head beneath her chin. She would talk occasionally, make some comment about the movie that Meryl didn’t get, and tangled her fingers in the front of Meryl’s shirt.

Yeah, she liked that.

She looked at Mei. They had turned off the lights and the flickering from the TV cast dancing shadows over Mei’s face. She looked very peaceful, although a frown would come over her during some scenes. Her lips seemed to shine against the pale light. She had put on lip gloss before the movie started. Cherry, Meryl thought. Yeah, cherry would suit her.

A woman screamed from the TV and Mei snorted.

‘You wouldn’t do that.’

Meryl, half in a daze, swallowed thickly. ‘What?’

‘I said, you wouldn’t do that. You’d fight them off. See?’ She reached a hand across herself and brushed Meryl’s arm that was over her shoulders, running the fingers over her biceps. ‘You’re strong.’

Meryl gave a weak laugh. ‘I suppose so.’ She wanted her hand on her again.

The movie lady screamed again and this time Mei tilted her head to look up at Meryl.

‘Maybe you’d even need to protect me,’ she said.

Their faces were very close. The sweet perfume and cosmetic smell wafted to Meryl’s nose. Strawberry, she realised dully. Strawberry lip gloss, not cherry.

That same embers burned in her middle.

‘I think you’d be able to manage just fine,’ she forced out.

At this Mei shifted fully, raising herself nearly to her knees to look at her.

‘Me?’ she said with a grin. ‘I’m good over a radio but less so in a fight. And besides, look at you.’ At this she placed her entire hand over Meryl’s shoulder, rubbing her thumb into the hard muscle. ‘You’re built like a rock. I’m a pretty little damsel next to you.’

The hand slid across the upper arm. Once, twice, Mei looking at her the entire time. The dark played with Meryl, who could have sworn the gaze directed at her was hot and hungry.

But then there was some talking coming from the TV and Mei turned away, not settling back into Meryl’s side, but sitting normally on the couch, keeping Meryl’s arm around her shoulders. As she shifted to be comfortable, she kept one hand loosely holding onto Meryl’s fingers, making sure they did not leave her shoulder.

When Meryl said she wouldn’t stay over that night, Mei’s face fell. She covered it up quickly, but Meryl saw it for the split second it came unmasked.

She didn’t want to go either but an odd feeling was building inside of her and the more she looked at Mei, the hotter it became.

It was near midnight by the time she was at the door.

‘Well,’ she said quietly, both hands in the pockets of her jeans, looking anywhere but Mei. ‘Call me whenever you want to meet up again.’

Mei nodded. They stood as such for a moment longer.

‘Well,’ Meryl tried again when Mei stepped forward and pressed her lips softly against her cheek.

‘Good night,’ Mei said quickly.  
  
❧  
  
Meryl didn’t go to bed. After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, she took out her boxing gloves and went to train. Getting her knuckles aching and her body sweating helped clear her head, but it did nothing for the half crazed feeling that was coursing through her.

She decided to call Snake. That’s what she always did when her brain began to rot.

She waited nearly a full minute before he picked up, and his first reply was the shuffling of fabric and a long yawn.

‘Mornin’, Meryl,’ he said thickly.

‘Snake, I — are you still in bed?’

There was more shuffling on his end and a quiet voice in the background that she couldn’t discern.

‘It’s only 8 o’clock,’ grumbled Snake, and she could practically hear him rub his eyes. ‘We had a long night. Computer malfunction.’

‘Who is that? Is that Meryl?’ came a voice.

Meryl looked hard at her hand, at the bright red ache of its back.

‘Get Otacon out, Snake, I need to talk to you,’ she said curtly.

That seemed to awaken Snake, or at least jostle him, because she could hear him get out of the bed and grunt.

‘You know I will tell him anyway,’ he said quietly.

‘I know,’ replied Meryl. ‘But what I’m about to say I only want you to hear, not an audience.’

Snake paused. ‘Are you alright?’ he said seriously.

Meryl sighed. ‘Snake—‘ She stopped and licked her lips. ‘Snake, do you remember what I told you, when we first met?’

‘You told me a lot of things.’

‘About my feelings, about — men.’

He hummed into the receiver. ‘I do.’

‘I’ve been thinking about that.’

‘Yeah?’

‘What if—‘ She broke off, took a deep breath. Mei’s smell seemed to be all around her, berry sweet and light. She tried again. ‘I’ve been looking at you and Hal, and I’ve realised that I’ve never had that for myself, Snake. Never in my life. No, don’t interrupt me.’

Snake huffed. ‘Alright.’

‘They took my interest of men away from me, and I tried, Snake, I tried so hard to feel those things. Even for you, when we met. I tried, and it didn’t work. It wasn’t real. What if —‘

Her voice was getting wobbly. With a aggravated sigh she pinched the bridge of her nose.

‘What if it was never men, Snake,’ she whispered. ‘What if it was women all along. What if —‘

And then to her frustration, she began to cry. The sob shook through her body and she felt hot tears slide down her cheeks. God, when was the last time she had cried like this?

Snake was saying her name over the receiver, over and over, in a soothing mantra.

‘Meryl. It’s okay, Meryl. It’s alright.’

She let it go through her, the years she had locked up her own heart, the stupid things she did to prove to herself it was not otherwise. She felt young again, too young, like a teenage girl.

‘It’s alright, Meryl.’

‘You don’t sound too surprised,’ she said with a watery laugh.

‘I’m not.’

She laughed again. ‘Don’t tell me you guessed all along.’

‘I won’t if you don’t want me to.’

She choked on herself and coughed and took a deep, shuddering breath.

‘Jesus,’ she said finally. ‘That felt good to say.’

Snake didn’t respond.

‘Snake?’

She heard him sniff.

‘Jesus Christ, Snake, don’t tell me you’re crying too.’

‘I’m not,’ came the stoic reply. He sniffed again.

Meryl laughed again and it was a good sound, lighter and free.

‘Look at us, old soldier dogs,’ she sighed fondly. ‘We’ve gotten soft.’

‘If either one of us will ever go soft, I can guarantee that won’t be you.’

She chuckled and sighed again. ‘Thanks, Snake.’

‘For what?’

‘For sticking with me.’ She ran her fingers through her hair. ‘You have when you didn’t need to.’

‘So did you.’

She smiled.

‘Now, go on, Meryl. I think you have more important things to do than talk to this old soldier.’  
  
❧  
  
Meryl invited Mei over. They didn’t do that often. Meryl’s apartment was rather small and she felt a little embarrassed when she saw how little personality it had compared to Mei’s.

Her TV was also smaller.

Mei, in her normal way, brought the entire sun with her, lighting up the dreary apartment immediately with laughter and conversation, already planning their evening. Meryl let her, the way a night gives way to dawn, naturally and without resentment.

By sunset it began to rain and a pleasant hush blanketed the roof.

Dinner for them was spaghetti followed by store bought cheesecake. Not bad, for Meryl. She barely ever had a proper meal at home. Mei half took over the cooking anyway, pulling out an apron from god knows where and humming under her breath.

Mei also brought seven movies.

‘I didn’t know what mood you might be in,’ she said with a shrug, laughing as Meryl rolled her eyes at her. ‘They’re all a different decade _and_ genre.’

They settled for a vague environmentalist horror from the 80s and Mei, like she was meant to be, slid into Meryl’s side. Meryl knew that her couch was tight enough for two to even sit side by side, but she never asked her to sit that close. She never asked for Mei to come so close, but she did, and Meryl could never say no.

It was somewhere in the middle of the film and Meryl peered down at Mei, at the kaleidoscope that was her hair under the TV’s glow. Mei was still, one hand tucked close beneath her and the other drawing little shapes into Meryl’s stomach, feather light, drawing the same thing over and over that Meryl couldn’t discern. She had been quiet that night, more than she had ever been. Meryl knew, she noticed.

Meryl let her fingers weave themselves through the dark hair that Mei had left curiously loose since that night. It was so soft and gentle and smelled like shampoo.

On the screen, a man in glasses was knocked back by a towering green thing. He screamed and the monster hollered.

‘What’s wrong?’ murmured Meryl, not quite letting her fingers leave Mei’s hair.

Mei made a little noise and looked up.

‘What do you mean?’ she asked. ‘I’m good.’

Meryl smiled. ‘You’re quiet tonight, Mei,’ she said gently. ‘You always make a comment about that scene and today you said nothing. What’s wrong?’

Mei stayed silent for a moment, the drawing hand pressed flat against Meryl’s stomach. Meryl could feel its heat through her thin singlet and ate it up like air.

‘Sorry,’ Mei said finally, leaning away to sit up. ‘I didn’t want to be any different tonight. I didn’t mean it.’

‘What happened?’ Meryl clicked on the lamp beside them, golden beams colouring Mei’s bashful face. ‘Is everything alright?’

‘It — it is.’ Meryl had never seen Mei this embarrassed before. Her cheeks were heated a deep red. ‘It’s nothing bad, in fact, well, it’s something good.’

‘Really?’ said Meryl.

Mei looked at her from under her eyelashes, lightly biting on her bottom lip. ‘Yeah, it’s good news. Actually, it’s—‘ She took a deep breath, as if steeling herself. ‘It’s actually about you.’

Meryl blinked. ‘About me?’

Mei’s entire face seemed to be flushed and she couldn’t meet Meryl’s eyes.

‘You see — don’t get mad — but Otacon called me —‘

‘Of course he did,’ said Meryl dryly.

‘It’s nothing bad, I promise.’ Mei came closer to her, fiddled with the hem of her shirt. ‘He merely updated me on Snake and him, they had a computer outage the other day, and then just told me that you had some news and that it was good and that he was happy for you. That’s all.’

Meryl stared at her, looked down at the carefully manicured fingers on her shirt.

‘And then you called me over today and I thought you might tell me what the news was, of course I didn’t want to ask or push, you understand, and —‘

Meryl covered Mei’s hand with her own.

The data analyst froze.

‘I —‘ Meryl licked her lips. Her brain felt foggy. All she could sense was the sound from the TV and the beating of the rain and how incredibly soft Mei’s hand was.

She didn’t try to talk again. She took a breath, squeezed the hand in hers, and leaned forward to kiss her on the mouth.

She was nervous and missed and the kiss landed on the corner of Mei’s mouth instead of its centre, but before she could register any more, she heard a loud sigh and a single word.

‘ _Finally_.’

Mei kissed her, properly, squarely on the mouth. It was a closed lip kiss and it was sweet and Mei slid her free hand against Meryl’s cheek.

‘You’re shaking,’ she murmured against her lips, pulling away. ‘You alright?’

Meryl saw stars behind her eyes. She nodded, grunted something, and eagerly tilted her head in offering again. Mei kissed her again, and then a second time, and a third and a fourth and Meryl could taste lipgloss, cherry finally, and brought her hand tentatively to Mei’s hip.

Mei moaned against her mouth and pressed herself close her, bodies touching wherever they could, both hands around her neck. Meryl felt her own arms wrap around Mei’s lithe waist, kneading the soft fabric of her shirt under her hands.

Meryl breathed out her name and Mei took the moment to drag her tongue against her bottom lip, offering and inviting, but not delving any deeper. She tasted like strawberries and cheesecake and Meryl felt thoroughly in love.

They broke apart with a gasp, both out of air, and Mei immediately laughed.

‘Oh, God, Meryl,’ she sighed, hugging her so tightly their cheeks touched. ‘How I’ve wanted that.’

Meryl, trying to process she had an armful of a very kissable data analyst, barely heard the words. She felt Mei’s heat, could smell her perfume. She was overwhelmed with it all and looked away when Mei cupped her cheeks.

‘Are you okay with this?’ Mei said, thumbs rubbing circles into the skin. ‘You’re still shaking.’

Meryl blinked, fast, trying to hide the tears welling up in her eyes.

‘Oh, darling,’ murmured Mei and pressed her lips against her cheek. ‘It’s alright.’

‘I’ve never —‘

‘It’s okay.’ Mei peppered her face in light kisses, her cheeks then chin, forehead and nose. ‘It’s okay.’

Meryl took deep breaths, the type that seemed to shudder her lungs against her ribs. She brought her hands up to cover Mei’s.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Oh, Meryl,’ said Mei, lips against her brow. ‘You have nothing to apologise for.’

Meryl tried to laugh. ‘I don’t think any girl expects her first kiss to be followed by tears.’

‘Any girl that is lucky enough to kiss Meryl Silverburgh is ready to cry herself.’ She giggled and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘I thought I could only dream it.’

‘Really?’ Meryl sniffled and tucked her hands back around Mei’s waist.

‘Yeah, really, Meryl.’ The data analyst leaned back, sticking her bottom lip out thoughtfully. ‘Although I’m glad you made the first move,’ she said seriously.

‘Oh, yeah?’ Meryl liked the way her arms fit perfectly around her middle.

Mei hummed in agreement, nuzzling into Meryl’s neck. ‘I never would have had the guts.’

Meryl found that hard to believe but she chuckled, breathing in her gentle smell.

‘I may have made the first move,’ she said quietly. ‘But this is all new to me. Will you be patient?’

Mei pressed her lips lightly against Meryl’s throat and leaned back, letting her hands slide down from her neck to her arms, kneading the hard muscle beneath. She smiled.

‘I’ve been living off months of hope,’ she said. ‘After this, I can wait forever.’

‘I’m hoping I won’t take that long.’ Meryl have a sly smile and flexed her arm muscles, which sent Mei into a delightful array of giggles.

‘Stop that,’ she cried, blushing a deep red. ‘You know your arms have always been my weakness.’

Meryl laughed aloud at that and brought Mei in close to her, until the woman was on her lap in the most perfect of ways. So close she could see faint crimson smudges around her lips from the lip gloss.

‘I may not go further than this tonight,’ said Meryl, running a thumb across the outline of Mei’s lips. ‘But would kissing be alright?’

Mei tilted her head so that her mouth brushed against the pad of her thumb.

‘Kissing,’ she said, ‘would be more than alright.’

And Meryl came ready that time, knocking her head slightly to the side, meeting Mei’s mouth fully, feeling the incredible soft texture of her lips as they worked gently against hers, releasing little sounds she didn’t know she had in her when Mei’s fingernails scraped against her skull. She loved her, deeply, but that was a conversation for another night, not when Mei had just firmly straddled her middle and sighed against her mouth.

They never even noticed when the credits rolled.

**Author's Note:**

> i come back onto this website handing out the gay, metal gear has way too little f/f content


End file.
